the end of the journey

today is the end of my fathers journey he passed away this morning. my stepmom found him at about 4:50am this morning. i am just glad that he is not in pain or suffering anymore but i still want to be selfish and have him here with me but not be in pain. i miss him already the only thing keeping me strong is my daughter i have to keep it together so i can take care of her and make sure that she has what she needs...i guess all i have to say is I LOVE U DADDY and its not goodbye its c-ya later you will be waiting for me at the gates one day! I LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!! R.I.P. DADDY!!! (R.I.P. William Hesburn)

sorry i havent written in a while things have been hectic...got some bad news today the hospice nurse gave my dad hours he isnt doing good at all...i have been crying and trying to get through it all day im gonna miss him so much! thank god for my little girl she will make sure that we all get through this hard time up ahead! i just want him to let go and not suffer anymore he needs his rest and i kno he will be watching over us all the time and he is always in our hearts...i just want to say I LOVE YOU DADDY MORE THAN U WILL EVER KNO ITS OK TO LET GO WE WILL BE FINE!!!
love always
kamalynn

the worst news

my stepmother and i just got the worst news someone could ever get...my fathers hospice nurse stopped by and told us that as fast as he is declining that he only has about 3 days left give or take...im not ready to lose my father i love him with all my heart but at the same token i dont want him to suffer either...thank god for my daughter she will be mine and my stepmoms therapy taking care of her will help take our minds off of my father dying she is so beautiful and innocent that she will help us get through this huge milestone in our lives...im really trying to keep it together but its really hard i keep crying and my baby knows something is wrong she can sense it...thank u for listening to me and letting me get this out...kama lynn

getting towards the end

hello sorry i havent been on in a while i have had my little baby girl and my father is so happy to be a grandfather...now that she is here he has been going down hill really fast he is now on oxygen most of the day someone has to stay with him at all times. even though he is getting worse he still wants to hold his grand daughter and feed her we have taken many many pictures of him with her! he was in the room with me when i gave birth to my daughter Caliann. he was also the first one to hold her...he is a proud grandpa of a beautiful girl. but now that she is here things are getting worse for him he cant even stand on his own he needs mine and my stepmoms help to get up and to his wheelchair...its so hard for me to watch him go downhill so fast especially with a newborn baby...i will keep everyone updated on whats going on thank you for listening and letting me vent...kama lynn